Whoa, my blog's so dead already. Yes, it is certainly DEAD. Haha! ain't you guys excited for this christmas season? I'm damn excited, love this precious white christmas that I would wunna treasure. :-) People ask me...Why I've been emotional nowadays, because uh...I just kinda feel lost? :/ Somehow I feel there's alot of people around me and myself are surrounded with darkness that tries to enter inside us, but the heart will never be affected. Seeing lots of true colors from friends are really scary, because you're not sure with their trust and stuffs. But some hidden their emotions inside to prevent any unhappiness to appear. Which it also same goes for me... It's stupid of me to bother such minor things too. I'm supposed to be happy with my life I am now. But the past ALWAYS bothers me, (alot...) But nevertheless, I'll try to stay strong. Somehow it's irritating that when you hate someone, you tend to hate their everything. Yeah, but I always knew they're not that type of "person", it's just that their mind change into sarcasm or let's just say upside down or maybe hiding themselves away from what's behind their mask? I don't hate anyone, but my mind sets so. But it's just I don't like it when they're not themselves? Some lies to myself too. Nobody likes to be someone else though, I bet everyone likes their special self where we learn what's reality is about from what we've faced? Darkness controls us all, but our heart will never change its faith, I believe. What's extreme is using words to trash all the relationships over your friends etc. and the pain will still feel it in your heart permenantly like a scar. But your mind just want to kick asses out, but heck I will tear into pieces. Heart vs mind, life's so unfair. Making ourselves dramatically split personalities, but we know we hate it. Unpredictable much. I've been thinking too much lately too, but encouragement never stops, so I'll stand to dedicate that I'll remain what I'll remain what's in my heart, my mind just...way too much I guess. :/ Oh well, can't blame. But hey, I'm not trying to say i'm perfect here, it is what I've faced so far... many happens unexpectedly. It's like, how you wish you return to where you're so yourself when that many...SHOULDN'T happen. It's not that I don't wanna face, it's just pointless for me to explain when you don't want to listen (childishly, i mean you) or perhaps me... SUCKS and it's nuts alright. But after so many craps... (off topic), FINALLY CHRISTMAS HERE! (Hope it is certainly PEACE), yeah. I've been dreaming of a white christmas. :-P Oh well, don't wanna talk about "those" anymore, WELL...VANESSA EUGENIA TAY, LOOK ON THE BRIGHT SIDE OF LIFE. Okay, randomly end here. *cuts scene*



Even though I hate you for what you've done, but you'll always remain in my memory. You're never forgotten, because you're yet dearest to me. But I'll never be yours, because we don't even seems happy together. But all I want to tell you that, you're one of the bestest, and I pray hard everyday with both of my hands that hope you're doing fine everyday and peace be with you always. All the best for your future endeavours. Don't bother about me anymore, your future awaits you. It's impossible to be a pair again.

I've moved on...