Hello peepos! Yeh.
It's been long that I never blog again, but nobody bothers to read though.
Let's take it a vent here that I've been hiding my feelings behind every actions.
Stupid past, it's yet still blind as ever. Like seriously, it's no mistake, but a regret.
Like the 1st, once a star in my life but yet his negativeness and sentivity makes me give up and lie to him.
Yeah, I always wanted to say how much I'm freaking sorry for lying to you in the past, yet you never trust me ever again. You just don't trust me with my friends at all, now I'm sorry for lying to you that religion is not the case for our relationship in the past, I just pushed you away so hard to forget me ever since you said I'm your worst person in your world, indeed I am. You did no mistake, but I've my mistake for making you into like this pain that I've no choice to chase you away with stupid reason that I can settle it in future. I gave you a chance to repent, but I've to be frank that it's unfair if you don't even let me have a chance to be with my friends for some good holiday. And yet, you accuse me I'm something bad to you. So, I should have stay as good friends like the year 2009. You just don't know how I feel when I actually sacrifice and lie to my friends more than lie to you about my status in life. And yet you think it's not enough, okay fine. Go ahead and find a better girlfriend, that's my last sentence that I actually wanna say before we break up last year. But honestly, you're really really nice person but yet I'm not good enough to your expectation. ;) I'm a bad girl as you think, don't even remember me. :/ How I wish I can take back my words and the hatred wouldn't be there.

To my dearest latest star, it's so unexpected that you just leave like that, inhumanly message me with just goodluck msgs on my fyp. I don't care how you look, suffer, laugh or whatever. You're just someone who simply made my day during that trip. Sad to say, now I hate the memories of that trip, now I feel freaking left out and cursed. But you won't even care anyway, hahaha. You're the first star who hurt me alot unexpectedly, yet you left without any clue. I told you that I'll wait til the end, but I guess you just ignoring me for the rest of your life. You're much cruel than ever, and I doubt your ex-star sucks. I bet she's the same problem as me. I felt that you've splits in your mind, you can't even make a decision. You said you can't balance, actually you do. That's just a f***ing excuse to chase me away, I always keep thinking you're a cheat, but I can't. Because you're damn complicated like what one of your best friends say. Hahaha, it's a punishment for meabout my past relationship I guess? See you now, so much happier than me. I'm glad... Unlike me, hahaha. so f***ed up. How I wish we can be as crazy as ever like those times back then. I know you said you don't want me to wait, somehow you want me to. I guess? Well... :/

Right now, I'm really sick and tired of seeing lots of different happiness of love everywhere I go. I don't know if it's jealousy or I'm already numb. After all, I can't seem to trust love because I can't tell whether it's real or fake anymore. I hate crying, I hate to be torn apart. I'm under some acid rain that is killing me to death now. I felt no one could save me as my shelter anymore. No, I'm not desperate for love. I'm tired of being hurt already. Nobody knows my reason behind all my actions. All they can do is, judge, critisize, accuse or whatever. Irritating isn't it? Nothing's perfect or less/more. All I can do is just smile on my 24/7 f***ed up life that makes me look like some going-to-be-a-pathetic-adult. Really tired. My old friends can tell how much I've been hiding. Thanks for being there for me. ;') I really miss 'em all. ITE life's gonna end. And say hello to...? No idea. I'm not someone confident like my past time of myself during Secondary School days. Honestly, I can't really understand myself. I may sound like as if I'm whinning, but I'm not. I'm just feeling soooo restless. Millions of time, I kept thinking of my incomplele past, I don't know why I care but I really can't let go. I just really really can't say "Fml", I'm just tired of misunderstandings in the world. I've been repeating but tell me, how can I tolerate this any longer? :/

I wish someone can understand me than I can understand myself.